2009 in Review, Bring on 2010!
I assume this is going to be a very long post because my head is really boggled with a million different things lately and I need somewhere to get it all written out and organized. I have been re-reading my old blog posts for the year, trying to get a grasp for what was 2009, how things unfolded, and how I ended up where I am now. Honestly 2009 easily was the worst year I have had so far in my 25 year life which is why I want to make some big changes in 2010 and really get things back on track. I think the best way to change things from the past is to recall what I did wrong and grow from it. Its really not much different than looking at a hand history, noting mistakes, and trying not to repeat the mistake again. There were a lot of things in 2009 that were out of my hands, but there is a lot more I could have done to change things as well.
January: The year started off with high motivation but I just seemed to fall short in January. I think it was a combination of being distracted with a ski condo, not playing much poker as a result, and just plain not trying hard enough that led to it being shitty. I think I made under $1500 and wasn't feeling too great about things.
February: This was crazy and until I just looked at my blog, I totally forgot, I HAD A PERFECT MONTH. I didn't lose money a single day that I played in February and had a great month. I think I made close to $3.5k or something with RB. I ran great obviously and February was definately one of the high points of the year.
March: Shit hit the fan family-wise in March and I really had a lot of shit to deal with that killed my month. I made under $750 that month and it was just a terrible month all around, logging less than 20k hands of depressed poker. It really didn't help my year and is a big reason things stalled so much for me right off the bat in 2009.
April: Went really shitty and from what I can tell from my blog, my mental state was pretty close to the same place it is now, with an overall hatred for poker, lots of breakeven hours logged, and in a rough spot. The only bright spot was that I moved my office downtown into a true office space and started getting out of the house and focusing a lot more. The first 30k hands of the month were losing, then spiked up from there and ended up with a positive month.
May: May was easily the best month of my year, I played roughly 62k hands of 50NL, made close to $4k and really got into the swing of things being in the new office, playing good solid poker and feeling great about things, not just sitting at home rotting away all day.
June-October: The business venture that fucked everything. In June I decided to start a small marketing company with my brother-in-law and literally spent 12 hours a day for 2-months planning the business, took a business trip to Texas, worked constantly getting it up and running, and didn't play any poker. It was a great experience but like many small businesses, for multiple reasons, it ended up failing. I think that the largest part of 2009's failure was this venture not working out the way I wanted or hoped. It literally stopped me in my tracks after one of my biggest poker months ever and nothing has been the same since.
November: Started playing again "full time" and had a decent month. Ended up winning at 2.31BB for the month at 50NL, and 4.00 @25NL, feeling like I got back into the swing of poker pretty well.
December: Awful, awful month. Will end up being my first losing month ever in the almost 4 years I have been playing poker online. I ran absolutely awful, being stuck in every way possible this month, but really lost it on the mental side of poker. I really got stuck in a rut of losing and not taking it mentally well at all. Too much was riding on poker going well, with being under rolled, broke IRL, and an overall lack of direction, I was doomed for failure. I started mis-applying concepts, trying to fix things that werent necessarily broken, and letting losses get to me way too much. This was the first month in my poker career that I couldn't "just play through it." Every session went terrible, winning either a small amount, or losing completely. I lost 27/41 sessions that I played, when usually I win greater than 80% of my sessions. Running bad obviously was the catalyst but I let things slide down a bad path and never recovered. Ya I could have easily played more, hope to run good and come out ahead, but the losses mounting really called for something to change. My overall being has been challenged and it cant continue how things have been progressing.
On the year as a whole, January-November, I made $27.71/hour. Figure in December and its a bit about $22. It is crazy to think about because that is more than I would be making in a career with my BA in Finance right now IF, BIG IF, I played full time, but I don't. If there is one realization that I have made this year, it is that I am NOT cut out to be a full time poker player. Between the loneliness, variance and instability, it is just not something that I want to continue to do in my life...That being said, 2010 is going to be the biggest poker year I have ever had.
Things aren't completely finalized yet, but 90% chance I will be starting school again next week to get my BA in Accounting. I have weighed a lot of options and for a ton of reasons I don't care to spend time listing here, it is easily the best choice for me right now. What excites me the most is that I will have what I have been envious of since I went pro, the ability to focus on poker without having it run my life. Up to this point, I have always HAD to play poker, but for the next year or so, it is just going to be my part time job. I dont HAVE to play, at all really if I dont want, which is what I am so excited for.
My student loans are back in deferment, the rest of my bills are fairly small, and I have my first real chance at being able to grind up my account and get out of the vicious necessary-cashout-cycle that I have been stuck in for years, grinding up, cashing out, grinding up, cashing out. I truly have never given myself a chance to grow through the limits and challenge my game, because I have literally had to cash out ALL my profits each month to just pay the bills. Granted if I would have played more, I could have won more, and kept some extra in my account each month but as I stated earlier, I am not a 10 hour a day type player. Shit, im not an 8, or 6 hour a day player, its just not in my cards(lol). The reason the cycle is so vicious is that I completely lose the ability to move up. It took all the hands I could put in at 50NL just to break-even on my bills monthly, and there just wasnt ever a chance to even really think about taking a shot at 100NL again.
So here I sit, after this long ass post, thinking about the new year and how best to attack it. In reading my old blogs, its pretty apparent to me that when I began 9 tabling again in May is when my results started getting good, so, thats what I will do. The need to grind a million damn hands a month to break-even is gone, replaced by the desire to move up and improve. There is a chance that I will switch to 6max when things are going well, or at least try to incorporate it, but to start I am going to begin at the bottom, 25NL FR, and grind my way up.
I am not going to set any goals until my school schedule is final and I know what to expect from my classes, so for now I am just gonna put the past behind me, use this as my final reflection of 2009, and grow from it.
This is way too long, and I know nobody reads this blog anyways, but it has already helped a ton in clearing my head and I really feel ready for 2010. Plan on regular blogs and some exciting results.
Bye 2009,
NeedAJoker
Great post and good luck for 2010, superb month you had in May, thats some $$$ you won playing $50NL.
GL
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GL and Happy New Year...keep posting!
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Thanks guys for the confidence and following. I will really try to keep this an entertaining blog through the year. GL as well to you guys in 2010. Kevin
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NeedAJoker,
Thanks for the very truthful and insightful perspective on your poker playing during the course of the year.
It is seldom that a player talks so brutally about the negative parts of a poker career. Yet this element of poker experience is the most vital to learn about.
As another potential move to expand your career you might consider taking up investing - as you may be aware there are many similarities between successful investors and poker players. I would appreciate any feedback you might have on what I have written on my site on this topic.
I look forward to following your postings in 2010.
John (aka The Masked Financier)
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NeedAJoker,
Is there any way I can contact you with some thoughts?
Thanks,
John (aka The Masked Financier)
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