I have been really charging up my mental focus the past few days while getting ready for 2010, and a big part of that for me is creating motivation.  A big way I create motivation is jealousy through others results.  It isn't jealousy in a negative way, just a "I could have done that well easily if I would have tried harder" mentality.

Obviously my big downfall in December was my inability to deal with the variance due to outside stresses and everything I mentioned in my last blog.  I took my losing/break even streak a little too much to heart.  I think that looking at your game when things arent going well is a healthy, natural part of a players development, but I think I may take it too far sometimes.  When I am on a downswing I look through every stat, every hand, and every session for hours on end, when in reality I need to just play through it and quit worrying about results.  I know I am a winner over well into 1 milion hands and I just need to trust I know what I am doing.

I guess the point is I have been looking at some end year graphs for big winning micro-FR players and there is one common factor in each persons year, a big downswing/break even stretch. Here are the first 3 graphs in the 2p2 thread, not ones I went and found bad stretches in, EVERYONE has one who plays volume:

Negative about $500 from hand 635k to 730k, almost 100k hands..



Breakeven from hand ~360k to ~500k, almost 140k of breakeven poker...



Breakeven from hand 670k to 845k, almost 175k breakeven!...



I understand that some of these players, maybe all, are 24 tablers on Poker Stars and that a lot of their winnings come from bonuses and such, compiled with a lower winrate adding to the size and frequency of these stretches, but my point is that my small little downswing lacks in comparison on all levels.

The other major thing I wanna point out is that after every bad stretch, these graphs all just continue their upward trend and carry on as if it never happened.  These are all competent, winning players at micros and it just reiterates to me to stay focused, keep playing well, and I WILL come out of it, its just a matter of playing my best and playing through it. 2010 could easily start off in one of these downswings for me, but all that is going to matter is HOW I deal with it.

Anyways, kinda random, but it makes me feel better about everything and will hopefully stay fresh in my mind as I grind through 2010.  If anyone reading is in a downswing too I hope you get something out of this as well, just keep going, it WILL turn around.

Excited for tommorrow,

Kevin