The curve-balls in life.
My life for the past 2 years, and largely since I graduated High School has been a big compilation of curve-balls. I am not regretful for any experience that I have had though, and really think they have shaped who I am today. It is funny to me how the cycle of having a simple job(poker 2 years ago) that I could make damn near whatever money I wanted, $500 on a good day, $1200 on a great day...to now, where financial struggles are a part of my daily routine, is so different. I sat at Barnes and Noble today, looking at a book that I really wanted, but not wanting to spend $19.95 on it. I have money in my bank account, a decent bankroll again, and no bills dues for another month, but I really have developed a habit to just not buy anything. In a lot of peoples experiences with poker, they gained a desensitization of money, which I think was true for me in the beginning, but has proved to turn 180 degrees since.
I can throw a bit of the blame on the economy, as I can truly say I have tried as hard as I possibly can to find a suitable job for a college graduate, and have been unsuccessful even to land a $35k a year job that will lead to a decent career. I am on the right track, and have a few things going now, but nothing too solid so I can't count my chickens before they are hatched.
I truly am not sure where those first 2 paragraphs came from but it's there and I know if I wrote it, I needed it off my chest and thats why I have this blog.
On to poker...
I have been really trying hard to get in sessions and take advantage of the situation that I have, the games, and my mental state, but haven't been able to get in any sort of volume. Since the 25th of January I have only played 5500 hands, which is pretty lame. In those hands I have had some luck and feel like i'm playing really well 9 tabling, winning at about 7.5BB/100 over the obviously small sample size at 50NL. Nevertheless it has been fun playing, and fun winning, so I hope I can get in some more volume.
I know its not even relatively sustainable but since I started playing again stress-free this year I have made $46/hr at 50NL. I think I can beat the games for about half that which is great for me as a part time job. The thing is playing 4 hours a week at even $50/hr isn't gonna do much for me so I have to step up my playing time. Tomorrow I wont have any time with school but I am really thinking this weekend about turning off my phone and just trying to grind. I know with UFC, Super Bowl, Coug games and whatever else it is so unlikely to happen..but it should. I really wish I had the dedication of a true grinder but its just not there.
If I decide to buck-up and get some hands in this weekend, this blog with be HUGE in keeping me on track so lets hope for all of us I actually decide to get things done. Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath either...if you go back through this blog the past two years and calculate my goals and the successes, I would guarantee you I am literally 0-45, no exaggeration. Bleh that's depressing. LOL.
Anyways, GL in the games and I hope to see you guys around the tables this weekend.
Kevin
Hey Kevin,
Where are playing nowadays?
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Playing 50NL FR at Full Tilt.
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